"I ...just thought he cared more about me," he huffed, closing his eyes.
He wasn't quite willing to admit more than that, but he looked at Neliel, nearly sadly, the frustration gone from his face. He felt like he'd been betrayed for Axel again and, really, he knew that he had. Even so, he was hardly innocent and it would never had worked long term, but after he'd left in a fit of anger he'd had time to sit and think, both at Daguerreo and the Palace.
With the anger gone, it did hurt, in a strange way. Emotional pain wasn't something he was accustomed to. It made him feel sick sometimes and nearly empty at others, but not in the same way as he had when he'd had no heart. He wouldn't go as far as saying that that was preferable, but it was a close run thing.
He knew that he'd never forgive him, not after that, but it didn't make things any easier.
"I don't know why people open themselves up for this nonsense," he said, tracing the handle of his cup with one finger. "I wish I never had."
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Date: 2015-12-28 08:54 pm (UTC)He wasn't quite willing to admit more than that, but he looked at Neliel, nearly sadly, the frustration gone from his face. He felt like he'd been betrayed for Axel again and, really, he knew that he had. Even so, he was hardly innocent and it would never had worked long term, but after he'd left in a fit of anger he'd had time to sit and think, both at Daguerreo and the Palace.
With the anger gone, it did hurt, in a strange way. Emotional pain wasn't something he was accustomed to. It made him feel sick sometimes and nearly empty at others, but not in the same way as he had when he'd had no heart. He wouldn't go as far as saying that that was preferable, but it was a close run thing.
He knew that he'd never forgive him, not after that, but it didn't make things any easier.
"I don't know why people open themselves up for this nonsense," he said, tracing the handle of his cup with one finger. "I wish I never had."