Kuja watched Kadaj falter before he began to speak.
The avoidance in his both body language and voice ... Kuja had never seen him like that. Never. Never had Kadaj avoided saying something to him in such a way. Usually, if he had acted in any way similar, it was an action born of guilt, because he'd done something wrong. Broken something in a temper. Gotten himself into a fight that he shouldn't have picked. Done something that he had been warned against doing. This was different. He looked nearly fearful. Positively mired in vulnerability. Vulnerable was something that he'd never been, not even when he'd run the streets of Alexandria alone, robbing strangers of gil and possessions.
Kuja's eyes flicked to Kadaj's hand when he laid it on Souba's bound handle, but he didn't react. He didn't even flinch. He knew that Kadaj would be unlikely to ever raise his sword against him. Either his own or that new one he was holding. And, well, if he did...
When his words finally came, when he at last found his voice, Kuja listened. He tried to remain impassive throughout his admission, but he found himself unable to. Both the cracking of his voice and the details he told of made it impossible for him not to react. His eyes went wide as Kadaj described his ordeals, the things Orochimaru had done to him. Kuja gritted his teeth behind his lips. His hands curled into fists at his sides. His tail, usually delicately curled, was lowered to the floor without care.
Is this all true? he asked himself, barely breathing as he went on.
He felt cold, as though snakes had tightened around his heart. Was this how Orochimaru made everybody feel? Had he, his ally --his friend-- really done this to Kadaj? All without his knowledge? Without guilt? He knew that they had been intimate on a number of occasions, that was true, but he had never imagined that those occasions had not been consensual.
How dare he?
He wanted to reach out and touch the boy, hold him, but he found himself unsure if that would be a welcome action. He hesitated, unable to move. He felt numb as Kadaj's words echoed in his head and made him feel sick. He'd always seemed so happy. He'd never betrayed any of this in how he had acted over the years. Not for a second. He'd never let on about the abuse. Never told him how he was used. Never confided in him. Had his fear of the repercussions been so great?
Kuja remained silent for some time after Kadaj had finished.
He was in shock. Orochimaru's murder had been entirely overshadowed by this revelation. He no longer felt sorrow for him, nor any need or desire to mourn his loss. Grief had been replaced by anger, but Kuja held that back. He took a breath, a sharp one that hurt his throat, and spoke.
"Kadaj," his voice shook and broke, but he swallowed and continued. "I... Kadaj, why did you not come to me? Why did you allow him to take such liberties with you?"
It confounded him. He didn't blame him, for he knew that Orochimaru was both dangerous and persuasive, but if he was being hurt, why did he not seek him out to put an end to it? He must have known that he would have the power to do that, that he could have faced him when he himself would have unable to. It heartened him to know that he would have fought him and he felt lighter knowing that, when it had come to it, he had done so and won ... albeit with the help of ... of Nnoitra. Nnoitra. Another one of Orochimaru's victims.
How had he been so blind?
He shook his head, angry at himself and not Kadaj. He should have known what Orochimaru would do to someone like Kadaj. He knew what he was like. He just simply didn't imagine that he would have been so bold as to act that way with something of his. It disgusted him. Still, Kadaj had put and end to all of that.
But it still left one question.
"This," he hesitated, his expression settling into one of an uncharacteristic frown. "This ... reincarnation you spoke of. What is it? What did he intend for you?"
no subject
The avoidance in his both body language and voice ... Kuja had never seen him like that. Never. Never had Kadaj avoided saying something to him in such a way. Usually, if he had acted in any way similar, it was an action born of guilt, because he'd done something wrong. Broken something in a temper. Gotten himself into a fight that he shouldn't have picked. Done something that he had been warned against doing. This was different. He looked nearly fearful. Positively mired in vulnerability. Vulnerable was something that he'd never been, not even when he'd run the streets of Alexandria alone, robbing strangers of gil and possessions.
Kuja's eyes flicked to Kadaj's hand when he laid it on Souba's bound handle, but he didn't react. He didn't even flinch. He knew that Kadaj would be unlikely to ever raise his sword against him. Either his own or that new one he was holding. And, well, if he did...
When his words finally came, when he at last found his voice, Kuja listened. He tried to remain impassive throughout his admission, but he found himself unable to. Both the cracking of his voice and the details he told of made it impossible for him not to react. His eyes went wide as Kadaj described his ordeals, the things Orochimaru had done to him. Kuja gritted his teeth behind his lips. His hands curled into fists at his sides. His tail, usually delicately curled, was lowered to the floor without care.
Is this all true? he asked himself, barely breathing as he went on.
He felt cold, as though snakes had tightened around his heart. Was this how Orochimaru made everybody feel? Had he, his ally --his friend-- really done this to Kadaj? All without his knowledge? Without guilt? He knew that they had been intimate on a number of occasions, that was true, but he had never imagined that those occasions had not been consensual.
How dare he?
He wanted to reach out and touch the boy, hold him, but he found himself unsure if that would be a welcome action. He hesitated, unable to move. He felt numb as Kadaj's words echoed in his head and made him feel sick. He'd always seemed so happy. He'd never betrayed any of this in how he had acted over the years. Not for a second. He'd never let on about the abuse. Never told him how he was used. Never confided in him. Had his fear of the repercussions been so great?
Kuja remained silent for some time after Kadaj had finished.
He was in shock. Orochimaru's murder had been entirely overshadowed by this revelation. He no longer felt sorrow for him, nor any need or desire to mourn his loss. Grief had been replaced by anger, but Kuja held that back. He took a breath, a sharp one that hurt his throat, and spoke.
"Kadaj," his voice shook and broke, but he swallowed and continued. "I... Kadaj, why did you not come to me? Why did you allow him to take such liberties with you?"
It confounded him. He didn't blame him, for he knew that Orochimaru was both dangerous and persuasive, but if he was being hurt, why did he not seek him out to put an end to it? He must have known that he would have the power to do that, that he could have faced him when he himself would have unable to. It heartened him to know that he would have fought him and he felt lighter knowing that, when it had come to it, he had done so and won ... albeit with the help of ... of Nnoitra. Nnoitra. Another one of Orochimaru's victims.
How had he been so blind?
He shook his head, angry at himself and not Kadaj. He should have known what Orochimaru would do to someone like Kadaj. He knew what he was like. He just simply didn't imagine that he would have been so bold as to act that way with something of his. It disgusted him. Still, Kadaj had put and end to all of that.
But it still left one question.
"This," he hesitated, his expression settling into one of an uncharacteristic frown. "This ... reincarnation you spoke of. What is it? What did he intend for you?"