spira_rp | Here I stand

Kadaj had given Hojo a wide berth.

It hadn't been that hard. Hojo had seemed to be extending him the same courtesy, but Kadaj wasn't taking chances. He'd been vigilant so far about following Even's advice and trying to leave as little trace of himself behind as he could. Nel helped, too, making sure he got his things washed and returned to his room quickly, and his crockery and utensils were quickly washed, or at least put in to soak. She'd bought him some bleach, too, and showed him how to soak his toothbrush and hairbrush in it so that, if Hojo did break into his room, he probably wouldn't get anything useful anyway.

It was weird and unpleasant to try and live while being mindful of everything you might leave behind for someone unscrupulous to collect evidence without your consent, but Kadaj felt like he was managing.

He'd also taken to training his bankai against Yylfordt. Not the full of its abilities, of course; he wasn't about to flash those around in the Palace, but improving the techniques he'd learned while he was out in the world was useful. Yylfordt wasn't as difficult as Kyuzo had been, but he had more brute force to put into a fight, and he used different tactics, even if they did mostly consist of relying on brute force.

Kadaj couldn't beat him consistently yet, but he was getting there. He'd be able to beat Yylfordt without taking a scratch if he used Reunion, of course, but he needed to keep training at dual wielding. He could practice Reunion out in the wider world, away from prying eyes, on Fiends that people wanted destroyed and the Gotei squads hadn't got around to yet.

Still, Kadaj was running up against a snag that he knew was going to be a solid wall in the way of his training. Yylfordt used brute force, yes, and Kadaj had to use his speed to circumvent that, but eventually he'd come up against someone that could use magic, or that he couldn't defeat without using magic himself, and that was when Kadaj was going to struggle.

He could ask Gin. Gin he was fairly sure would have taught him before now if he'd asked, but Kadaj would rather not end up owing Gin a lot of favours, and a part of him knew it wasn't smart to let Gin know every single ability he had in his arsenal. Plus, Gin would probably respect him more for finding another way.

Kuja had tried, but Kadaj had got frustrated easily, and tantrums had usually ensued if Kuja continued to push him, and Kuja's patience had worn thin. Kadaj had ended up learning every one of Kuja's favourite plays and poems by heart, because that was easier than learning to read them, and he'd mentioned no more about learning magic since.

He could ask Aizen, but Kadaj was wary of admitting such a weakness to Aizen. Ienzo wasn't to be considered. Nel was nice, but Kadaj wasn't sure of how she'd be as a teacher, and anyway, going to someone else's subordinates with a weakness was as bad as going to them.

Then Even had come along, and Kadaj had been set to hate him because they'd fought each other in the past, but he'd found that, really, he didn't. Even was a bit stuck up, sure, but he'd also been almost nice in the face of Hojo's interest in Kadaj. Kadaj had since afforded him respect, and Even had been respectful in return, which was new territory for Kadaj. If he was honest, he kind of liked Even, in the same way that he liked Nel.

So it was in this atmosphere of growing respect and the sown seeds of affability that Kadaj, after a training session with Yylfordt and subsequent shower, went to track Even down. It wasn't a safe conversation to have in the kitchen, or somewhere else public, so Kadaj want to find Even in his own quarters. He'd made his home, so to speak, in a distant end of the Palace, where no one else really went. They hadn't known it was here before Even came, or at least, they'd known it was here but hadn't known how to get to it, and had little reason to venture down here now. As a result, the whole area felt like Even. The rest of the Palace was a mishmash of other reiatsu signatures, but here was as definitely Even's domain as Orochimaru's labs had been his, and as Kuja's quarters were his.

Kadaj felt like an intruder in someone else's territory, and he knocked politely when he could feel Even on the other side of a door in that unmistakable sense of glaciers and icicles emanating from beyond it as if you could open it onto winter.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

joinmyreunion

Kadaj looked up at Even, surprised at the ease with which he declared he could teach both magic and reading to someone like himself. Kadaj strongly suspected Even didn't quite know what he was letting himself in for.

"Thank you," he said, looking away again, but this time it was to look around the room, instead of stare at Even's desk.

"It might sound weird," he said, quietly, "but I can probably trust you better than most of the others." The office was a funny shape, and Even was setting it up to be lined with books he didn't even possess yet. Kadaj wondered how he'd know when he'd made enough space. "You've got nothing to gain by killing me, at least not yet." The others had plans, machinations, alliances, things Kadaj could get in the way of, or maybe Kadaj was just so insignificant to some of them that he wasn't even a pawn in the game which made him entirely expendable if he irritated someone.

Even wasn't that far embroiled in Khamja's internal politics, yet. Kadaj himself was further tangled in them than Even was.

"I don't know what you might want in return," he admitted, looking back at Even, "but if you need anything, I'll help if I can."

From:

thechillyacademic

"I don't need anything in return," he said, moving to lean against his desk. It was a long affair with plenty of space for piling books and papers on thought it was, for now, empty but for his notebook, one leatherbound volume pilfered from the main library, and a lamp. "I taught Ienzo to read," he told him, quietly. "My teaching methods seem effective enough."

Nevertheless, he smiled to himself a touch sadly as Kadaj made it clear that he had no reason to kill him. The thought of killing somebody, well, somebody other than Hojo, hadn't even crossed his mind. He had been in a position where he was expendable, back in Castle Oblivion. As such, he had an inkling of how Kadaj felt.

"And I'm not here to make any grabs for power," he explained, looking down at the floor, his gaze a little distant. "I'm capable of taking care of myself, but I'm here because I wasn't given much of a choice. I'll make the best of it," he blinked and looked back up, eyes sharp again, "but mostly what I want to achieve is not looking like a target. You've little to fear from me."

Edited Date: 2016-01-26 12:09 am (UTC)

From:

joinmyreunion

Kadaj gave Even a faintly amused smile, and a slightly pitying look. "Not looking like a target is hard to keep up," he said.

He sighed, then, and leaned back in Even's chair. "There are a few ways to survive, here. You can either be someone's property, be useful to them, or be more powerful than them. Most of Khamja are out for what they can get from you." He paused, and thought about that for a moment before he added, "Except Gin." Hell only knew what Gin was after, because Kadaj certainly didn't. "The easiest way to stay alive around Gin is to stay out of his way." And that wasn't easy because you wouldn't know you were in his way until it was too late. "The rest are pretty easy to read if you watch them."

He smiled at Even, then, for the first time since coming into his office. "But you wouldn't be a target right now anyway. Everyone's too interested in what you can do, in case they can use you." It wasn't a situation that would last, but it would do to keep Even alive, for now.

From:

thechillyacademic

Even had a feeling that was the case.

The subordinates were safe because they were somebody's property. Marluxia and Lumi were powerful enough that others didn't bother them and Ienzo had managed to keep himself safe, for a given value of the word, by being of use to the owner of the Arrancar.

Kadaj, it seemed, had been somebody's subordinate, transitioned through useful and had come out needing to be as dangerous as some of the others before his threat levels started to outweigh his usefulness without putting him in their league.

It was useful advice. It was also information that nobody else had seen fit to give him. Ienzo and Marluxia had been helpful enough, as had Nel, but Kadaj was being brutally honest with the way Khamja worked in a way that might actually benefit him where his ongoing survival was concerned.

"Maybe I should dedicate some time to considering my options before I attract too much attention," he said, somewhat wryly.

From:

joinmyreunion

Kadaj flashed a smirk at Even. It felt good to talk to someone like this about the way he'd managed to live in Khamja. Tayuya and the other subordinates, well, even the ones that were smarter than him, and there were a few of them, wouldn't really get it. You couldn't, unless you lived with it. But you couldn't talk like this to other members because they'd try and use it against you.

Even probably wouldn't, because he didn't have the means to use it against Kadaj yet.

"They're all watching you already," he said, sitting up again. "Just don't let anyone know exactly what you're really capable of and they'll leave you alone." Kadaj scowled a little, looking away as he added, "Orochimaru was easy to work with, so some of his," he curled his upper lip, "predilections got ignored." Like his well known preference for boys in the eleven to seventeen age range. "Hojo doesn't seem like he's going to fill that gap, and Szayel is someone else's property. If you're useful and keep to yourself, there'll be a few members that want to keep you around, even if they're not directly allied with you." It was, Kadaj suspected, how L survived, at least for the most part.

From:

thechillyacademic

Even listened to Kadaj talk, and nodded.

In the past, he would have scoffed at receiving advice from somebody so young, but that part of his life was over. Kadaj, in this situation, had experience over him and he had, technically, been a full member of Clan Khamja for longer than he had, even if other people barely saw him that way. Even if he wasn't, he had lived in this environment for far longer than Even was likely to without help of this nature. His honesty and advice were valuable.

"Thank you," he said, sounding slightly uncomfortable. He hated admitting gaps in his knowledge as much as Kadaj disliked admitting weaknesses. In that, they were on equal footing. "I'll keep that in mind."

He was, for all intents and purposes, quite alone. He had been able to get along with some of the Arrancar, including two of the most difficult to tolerate, and he had Ienzo and Marluxia as allies for appearances, but that was all he'd managed to achieve thus far. Kadaj's help, even if it was only in the form of information, would be useful to him.

"As for what you came to ask me," he began, looking at him properly. "Where would you prefer to begin?"

He didn't intend to start his lessons right off, but knowing what sort of background in reading and magic Kadaj had would make it easier for him to covertly gather the materials needed for study. If he had already grasped the basics, going for that type of thing could be considered insulting, but if he had not, he didn't want to start with anything too difficult and frustrate him.

From:

joinmyreunion

Kadaj smiled at the thanks from Even, but then quickly turned awkwardly self conscious again when the matter of his impending education was brought back up. He looked away again, and scratched at his temple before forcing himself to put his hand back down. He hated feeling stupid, he hated feeling awkward, and talking about the fact that he couldn't read made him feel both.

"I can do first level elemental spells for everything except ice, thunder, and wind." He frowned, looking down at his hands before he finished, "That's all. And I know the alphabet, but," he trailed off, and bit his lip. It was hard to explain, especially because he'd never done it before. Trying to tell someone that written language looked like gobbledegook to him was uncomfortable.

He shook his head, "I've never been able to make sense of words when they're written down. The letters don't look right."

From:

thechillyacademic

"Now," Even said, sounding a little firmer than he had. "To begin with, you are to rid yourself of the notion that you need to feel ashamed when discussing these matters with me."

Kadaj was unlikely to progress in either field if he continued to squirm awkwardly when explaining his issues with the subjects at hand.

"It is not unusual, according to what I have read, for individuals of certain elements to struggle with specific others," he told him, looking thoughtful. "Ice, Thunder and Aero are all opposed, in one way or another, to your own Element. Fire remains my weakness in casting, so that you can use Water spells is a good start."

He frowned when he considered what Kadaj had said about the letters. That he knew the alphabet was a decent start to his education, but that he actively struggled to make sense of the written word despite being able to memorise whole passages of Kuja's recitals suggested that his problems with reading went rather deeper than he realised and were entirely unrelated to drive or intelligence. It would take some investigation, but Even suspected that he knew what his trouble might be.

"So is knowing the alphabet," he said, more gently. "It is not unknown for intelligent people to struggle with reading despite wanting to learn."

From:

joinmyreunion

Kadaj looked surprised to be told off for his embarrassment. The wide eyed, stunned look he threw at Even didn't fade until Even began talking about his own magical weakness. Then the corner of his mouth twitched in a smile. It was good to know that even someone like Even struggled with his opposing element.

Fire had been the second spell Kadaj had actually managed to learn. Earth had been easy, and fire had been hard, and water had been hardest. Ice was something Kadaj just couldn't get, though he'd tried, so knowing that Even, who was so Ice elemental that his labs-to-be already felt like an area after someone had summoned Shiva there, still found some of the other elements challenging was a relief.

He squirmed again at Even's use of 'intelligent', however. "You're going to have a hard time with me, then," he muttered. If intelligent people could struggle, Kadaj would have a long, uphill fight.

He'd lost patience with trying to read many times before because he found it hard. "I get frustrated easily," he admitted. When he'd been new to the clan his frustration had resulted in outbursts of temper that had helped earn him a reputation for being unstable. He'd never directed his temper at Kuja before, but he had at Orochimaru, and Orochimaru had responded by humiliating him which had only made it worse.

From:

thechillyacademic

"Frustration is expected," he said, giving a careless shrug, "but you're not stupid."

He pitied him, just a bit, for having been convinced that he was. Somewhere along the line he had probably learned to equate reading with intelligence and not knowing how to do it made him feel ... possibly substandard.

"Some people have difficulty learning to read because they process the written word differently to the rest of the population," he told him. "It doesn't make them stupid, it just means that they have to be taught slightly differently and use other ways of getting around what is easy for everybody else."

He gave him a bit of a smile.

"You obviously have a very keen memory," he said, approvingly. "That will certainly be an asset, but you need to feel comfortable with acknowledging your weaknesses. Doing this is just as important as playing to your strengths."

From:

joinmyreunion

"I know my weaknesses," Kadaj said, his voice low and unhappy. "Telling them to someone else is another matter."

He squeezed his hand into a fist and closed his eyes. Admitting your weaknesses wasn't how you got along within Khamja. You hid them, covered them, denied them, just as surely as you hid some of your abilities.

He opened his fist again, slowly, before he looked up at Even, catching sight of his expression and then looking away again. He wasn't used to praise either, or at least praise that didn't have an agenda behind it.

"But I'll try," he said.

Maybe he did need to be taught some other way. Maybe that was why he could remember the passages of Kuja's plays, but he couldn't read them. He hoped that Even could help with that, it sounded like he knew what he was talking about.

From:

thechillyacademic

"Of course," he said, smiling a little. "Now, there's not a great deal I can help you with at this precise moment, but I should be able to gather the necessary materials for both areas fairly easily."

He looked around his office and scowled a little. Beyond it, and past the hallway that served as a sort of atrium for his quarters, both rooms were, as yet, empty. He had plans for one of them, but the other could easily be dedicated to training, at least for the time being. There was a problem, however...

"Teaching you to read will be ... innocuous enough," he started, looking back at him. "But I don't wish to take magic training to the training facility."

He had never been there, but according to those who he had heard speak of it, it was much like the garden outside. Enclosed, as one would expect in an underground palace, but treated to the sort of technology that made it feel like you were standing outdoors.

"One of the rooms I am renovating would serve," he said, scepticism creeping into his voice, "but your reiatsu would be felt readily should anybody get close or if you were to flare it. It is quite distinctive and Hojo, for a start, would not miss it."

It might give people the wrong idea. Kadaj, a known hater of all things scientific, down in the depths of the new scientist's laboratory and doing things that made him flare his reiatsu enough to use magic? If that wouldn't call his friends to the scene, Even wasn't sure what would.

"I am capable of making a containment seal," he pressed his lips together for a moment, not entirely comfortable with admitting that much to a member of the Clan, Kadaj or not, "but it may take me a little longer to get the paraphernalia that would require."

It had been something he had intended to do from the beginning. While magical seals were beyond him until he dug up the books on extinct techniques, his experience of Ninja techniques, mostly thanks to the Akatsuki clan and illicit independent study, had granted him the ability to use paper tags in such a fashion. Procuring them, however, wouldn't be easy.

From:

joinmyreunion

Kadaj looked at Even, listening to him muse on the hows of teaching him. He was right when he concluded that the training facility wasn't going to be ideal; it was basically a public space, and the two of them heading down there would look highly suspicious.

As would Kadaj being down here on a regular basis with his reiatsu spiking as he trained.

"What kind of paraphernalia?" He asked, his head tilted to one side.

Kadaj had the bike, and the freedom to come and go from the Palace as he pleased, but there was also the Ragnarok if Even needed something larger shipped in. It would mean Kadaj would have to explain a few things to Grimmjow and Yylfordt, but he could at least trust them to keep their mouths shut on his behalf.

If it was seals he needed, however, well... Kadaj's best friend was one of the Sound Four. Ninja paraphernalia wasn't that hard for him to get his hands on, if he needed it.

From:

thechillyacademic

"Paper tags," he answered. "And the appropriate ink."

There was an art to making barriers and seals and causing a variety of different off-Class magical effects with tags, and Even had far from mastered it all. He had, however, made a special effort to learn how to seal a room so that magic or chakra use could not be felt from the outside.

Initially, he had studied it so that he could establish a working laboratory in his home back in Lindblum, but it would prove useful here as well.

"I could also use some long pieces of material," he added, almost as an after thought. "Seals will keep the effects of your reiatsu from leaking beyond the tags, but the two rooms that would be suitable for magical training both have windows."

Sure, so the windows were narrow little things right at the top of his rooms, but they were ground-level from the outside of the palace. Only Marluxia was ever likely to see in through them, and that's if he made the effort, on account of the area of the palace he occupied being situated deep in the territory of his malboro sentinels, but he was one person too many. Even didn't entirely trust him and he didn't want him, of all people, to know what he was teaching Kadaj.

"The sooner I can make the area suitable for training, the sooner we can start doing so."

From:

joinmyreunion

Kadaj shrugged one shoulder in an easy movement as response. "I can get tags and ink," he said. If Tayuya didn't already have some, which she probably would, they'd be easy enough for her to obtain.

Curtains, on the other hand, were more Kuja's domain than Tayuya's, and Kadaj didn't feel like asking Kuja if he could have those. There'd be a lot of curious questions.

"If the curtains from some of the empty rooms won't fit, I can get some the next time I go on a hunt." He had the freedom, and he could find an excuse to go whenever he pleased without having anyone ask weird and difficult questions now. "Is there anything else you'd need?"

From:

thechillyacademic

"I don't believe so," he said, sounding thoughtful. "I have pens, notebooks..."

He smiled a little. Wider-ruled notebooks would probably be useful, but Kadaj didn't have anything wrong with his motor skills, so Even doubted that he would struggle to write.

"That should be enough."

From:

joinmyreunion

'An infinite amount of patience' Kadaj considered adding to the list of things Even might need, but he didn't. Even was going to need it, and Kadaj was going to need his share, too, but Even had already nearly scolded him for being embarrassed about his failings.

"Then I'll get them as soon as I can," he said, softly, standing up out of Even's chair. It didn't make him feel any less subordinate to be stood up, not when Even towered over him. "And if you need anything else," he offered, and finished the offer with a slightly awkward shrug to indicate he'd do what he could, "let me know."

He looked up at Even, feeling awkward in a way he wasn't used to. He felt exposed, but he'd been naked in front of people and felt much less exposed than this. He'd told Even things that had been secret, and Even hadn't laughed, or mocked, or, as far as Kadaj could tell for now, made plans to use the information for his own ends. It was a weird feeling. "Thanks," he said, quietly.