If he wants a fight, well now he's got one

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The Palace felt quiet. A number of the Arrancar were out on a mission with Aizen; only the weak, or the unpredictable, had been made to stay behind, but that number had not, apparently, included Grimmjow. Kadaj and Tayuya had been left to their own devices without him and Yylfordt around.

Three days ago, they'd had a quiet conversation. Kadaj hadn't done much talking, just nodded, and then later in the day had crept into the laboratories down the wing of the Palace that Orochimaru had made his own. Kadaj used to go down there a lot, three years ago. He'd stopped just after the Arrancar arrived. He'd fallen out with Orochimaru once and for all shortly after that.

He emerged from the labs a couple of hours later, showered, and then went into the underground training facility. He didn't come up again for a couple of days, although there weren't really people around to notice, except Tayuya, who went down to check on him a few times.

He'd slept when he came back up, and then went to look for Nnoitra, one of the Arrancar who had been judged too unpredictable to head off to a freshly made Necrohol. He found him in the kitchen.

Kadaj made his way over; an unusual intent certainty in his expression, and spoke quietly. "Want to let off some steam?" His manner was all wrong to be an invitation to spar, but that was what it sounded like, at first.

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Kadaj looked at Kuja and felt his stomach twist, sickeningly. He tried to answer, but couldn't, and he looked away, closing his eyes and swallowing reflexively.

It was hard to say it now. He'd never really spoken about it before, had never ever recounted details to anyone, not even to Grimmjow who already a rough idea that it had gone on.

What would he do if Kuja had known? He wasn't sure he wanted to know if Kuja had known any part of it any more, but a small part of him screamed to find out.

He put his hand to Souba's hilt, gripping it until his knuckles turned white, but not as if he was going to draw her. This was Kuja; no matter what his response, he wouldn't do that, and not just because he'd be dead before he'd got Souba out.

"He," Kadaj managed, fought against a crack in his voice, swallowed once more, and then plunged ahead, "used to shove his tongue so far down my throat, I thought I was going to be sick." His hand tightened on Souba again, "I tried to fight back once, and he dislocated my arm, and left it like that until it was over." He swallowed again, opening his eyes only to stare at the floor. "He had two, and I was the only one, the only one," he repeated, "that he used both at once with. It used to hurt so much," he said, his hand and voice trembling. "He liked to choke me with that tongue around my throat until I didn't have the strength to stand, let alone fight back."

Kadaj took a couple of steps back, until his shoulder hit the door, and he leaned there, tilting his head back to rest against it, too. His hands were shaking, his throat ached, and he felt oddly lightheaded and vulnerable at having told someone. His jaw quivered for a moment as he took a shaky breath, and then said, "I'd thought that was just how he was, just how he was with me, but then I found out he'd done it all deliberately to try and keep me from ever fighting him properly. He'd been trying to break me, and keep me that way, for all those years."

Kadaj's voice tailed off, and he looked at Kuja, oddly despondent. "He called it 'Living Corpse Reincarnation'. That's what it was about. I told him I'd still fight him if he tried using it on me, that he could rape me as many times as he liked, however he liked, and I'd still fight him."

Did you know what he was doing to me? The question stuck in Kadaj's throat, for now.

[immoralmelody]

Kuja watched Kadaj falter before he began to speak.

The avoidance in his both body language and voice ... Kuja had never seen him like that. Never. Never had Kadaj avoided saying something to him in such a way. Usually, if he had acted in any way similar, it was an action born of guilt, because he'd done something wrong. Broken something in a temper. Gotten himself into a fight that he shouldn't have picked. Done something that he had been warned against doing. This was different. He looked nearly fearful. Positively mired in vulnerability. Vulnerable was something that he'd never been, not even when he'd run the streets of Alexandria alone, robbing strangers of gil and possessions.

Kuja's eyes flicked to Kadaj's hand when he laid it on Souba's bound handle, but he didn't react. He didn't even flinch. He knew that Kadaj would be unlikely to ever raise his sword against him. Either his own or that new one he was holding. And, well, if he did...

When his words finally came, when he at last found his voice, Kuja listened. He tried to remain impassive throughout his admission, but he found himself unable to. Both the cracking of his voice and the details he told of made it impossible for him not to react. His eyes went wide as Kadaj described his ordeals, the things Orochimaru had done to him. Kuja gritted his teeth behind his lips. His hands curled into fists at his sides. His tail, usually delicately curled, was lowered to the floor without care.

Is this all true? he asked himself, barely breathing as he went on.

He felt cold, as though snakes had tightened around his heart. Was this how Orochimaru made everybody feel? Had he, his ally --his friend-- really done this to Kadaj? All without his knowledge? Without guilt? He knew that they had been intimate on a number of occasions, that was true, but he had never imagined that those occasions had not been consensual.

How dare he?

He wanted to reach out and touch the boy, hold him, but he found himself unsure if that would be a welcome action. He hesitated, unable to move. He felt numb as Kadaj's words echoed in his head and made him feel sick. He'd always seemed so happy. He'd never betrayed any of this in how he had acted over the years. Not for a second. He'd never let on about the abuse. Never told him how he was used. Never confided in him. Had his fear of the repercussions been so great?

Kuja remained silent for some time after Kadaj had finished.

He was in shock. Orochimaru's murder had been entirely overshadowed by this revelation. He no longer felt sorrow for him, nor any need or desire to mourn his loss. Grief had been replaced by anger, but Kuja held that back. He took a breath, a sharp one that hurt his throat, and spoke.

"Kadaj," his voice shook and broke, but he swallowed and continued. "I... Kadaj, why did you not come to me? Why did you allow him to take such liberties with you?"

It confounded him. He didn't blame him, for he knew that Orochimaru was both dangerous and persuasive, but if he was being hurt, why did he not seek him out to put an end to it? He must have known that he would have the power to do that, that he could have faced him when he himself would have unable to. It heartened him to know that he would have fought him and he felt lighter knowing that, when it had come to it, he had done so and won ... albeit with the help of ... of Nnoitra. Nnoitra. Another one of Orochimaru's victims.

How had he been so blind?

He shook his head, angry at himself and not Kadaj. He should have known what Orochimaru would do to someone like Kadaj. He knew what he was like. He just simply didn't imagine that he would have been so bold as to act that way with something of his. It disgusted him. Still, Kadaj had put and end to all of that.

But it still left one question.

"This," he hesitated, his expression settling into one of an uncharacteristic frown. "This ... reincarnation you spoke of. What is it? What did he intend for you?"

[joinmyreunion]

What would you have done? Kadaj thought, as Kuja asked the question Kadaj had wondered himself, more recently. Battled an ally over a fourteen year old disposable brat you took in out of idle interest? He didn't say it, though, just as he didn't ask what Kuja had expected to happen when he'd left said fourteen year old with something like Orochimaru for more than ten seconds.

It didn't matter any more. Kadaj could see the little tells of anger, more than anger, in Kuja's stance. He'd seen the like before, in smaller ways, when he'd pushed too far, or done something explicitly against instruction. He saw the tensing in Kuja's jaw, and the curled hands, and heard him ask that question, and suddenly Kadaj felt a horrible weight lift off his chest.

He closed his eyes, flooded with relief, before he answered the second question, leaning more easily against the door but breathing like he'd exerted himself in the last few minutes, rather than simply confessed. "He has to put one of his seals on the target," he said, not noticing to correct his use of the present tense, "and then he can transfer himself into their body. It lets him learn kekkei genkai," Kadaj explained, "and when he takes a new body, he has to stay in it for three years before he can use the jutsu again." Kadaj frowned for a moment before adding, "Except it also meant that every three years he had to find another victim. He wanted Kimimaro, but he hadn't been able to cure his sickness yet. I was the back up plan." He shrugged one shoulder, and tried not to be irked by that.

"Tayuya tipped me off," he said, quietly. "I was just going to leave and stay out of his way until he was forced to take someone else, but," he trailed off, again. "It didn't work out that way."

He sighed as he stood up off the door again, and made his way towards Kuja, leaning Kusanagi delicately against the furniture on the way. When he got to Kuja he slipped his hands over Kuja's shoulders until he could fold his arms gently around him and tuck his face in towards Kuja's hair, his eyes closed as he breathed him in for a moment.

"I'm sorry, Kuja," he said, in a whisper. "I should have told you sooner, but I'd never thought there was any way you didn't already know." It hurt to admit that to Kuja, too; that he hadn't trusted him. "I should have known better."

He stood back a little, to look at Kuja, drawing back until his hands were loosely clasped near the back of Kuja's neck. "I'm sorry."

But I'm stronger for it.

[immoralmelody]

"And then he can transfer himself into their body..."

He stole bodies? From living people? For his own use? He walked around in the corpses of people he had stolen the bodies of? The very notion sickened Kuja.

Experimentation on the living didn't bother Kuja all that much -- he had dabbled himself, on occasion, albeit magically. There were more than a few members of Khamja, past and present, Orochimaru included, that conducted often awful experiments on people. Aizen, Hojo and that infernal Aegyl were just a few. Kadaj's best friends, both Tayuya with her Cursed Seal and the Arrancar, each with a Hollow sealed into them, were the results of some of these experiments. But they didn't have to give up their bodies for use by someone else... not like that.

He was horrified. He welcomed the hug that Kadaj gave him and returned it gently, sliding his arms around his waist and holding him for a quiet moment.

It hurt knowing that Kadaj hadn't trusted him. That's what it came down to. He thought that he had known about all that and had just stood by and it all happen. Had Kadaj overestimated how much that Kuja knew about the goings on in the palace?

He sighed.

It stung, but he knew that he mustn't be angry with him. He needed him to remain in a supporting role in the show that Kuja himself was the star of. He couldn't push him away by trying to hold him too close. That was more vital now than ever. No, he would give him his space. Kadaj had won his personal battle. Kuja was proud of him for that. Kadaj should still trust him. He needed him to.

"It is done," he said gently, placing his hands on Kadaj's sides as he drew back. "Orochimaru is gone," saying those words with a tone of relief left a bitter taste in his mouth. "You were right to fight back and not let him have his way again."

He was safe thanks to how strong he'd become and, awful as it was for Kuja to feel a degree of gratitude to that brutish insect, thanks to Nnoitra. He made a mental note to keep the heat off Nnoitra as much as he was able. Kadaj had seen Illua already, so he had evidently taken responsibility for the incident, but other people in the Palace may feel a certain degree of malice towards the Arrancar. Kuja would endeavour to prevent that as much as possible. He had, after all, aided Kadaj in eradicating that snake.

As for the Sound Five ... Kuja knew the details of Orochimaru's will regarding them. He had had to give consent at the time. Tayuya had saved Kadaj's life with her tip-off. He would, in turn, save hers when the time came.

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Kadaj nodded, feeling his own shoulders relax with the movement. He'd been so scared of coming to Kuja and explaining what had happened but, while his fears weren't exactly unfounded, Kuja was being understanding, which was the most Kadaj could ask.

"I've been a little too big to ride your tail for a while now, anyway," he admitted, quietly, and with a faint flash of a smile. "It's about time I started getting myself out of the scrapes I get myself into." He squirmed a little, uncomfortably, as he added, "And taking responsibility for what happens."

He looked at Kuja, a slight frown etched on his lips. "I don't know what's supposed to happen to Tayuya and the rest, now," a muscle in his jaw flickered, tensing for a second, "but I don't want them to be put down because of something I did."

Especially not Tayuya. Without Orochimaru, Kimimaro probably wouldn't survive to Warsend, and that was bad enough for Kadaj to accept. He'd never really got on with Kimimaro, but that didn't mean he deserved to die just because Orochimaru was a sick bastard, and still Kadaj had destroyed any chance he had of a cure.

[immoralmelody]

Oh, Kuja knew all too well that Kadaj was too old to remain in his shadow now. Even so, it felt like it had come too soon. He'd seen it coming, but not quite to this extent. He smiled, not openly addressing the subject. Kadaj was ready to take a leading role in his own life. He could deal with that. He knew what he wanted and Kuja was going to simply give it to him. It was for the best, in the long run. Kuja would lose an underling -- that hadn't really happened even after Kadaj had been elevated to full Member status -- but he would hopefully retain an ally.

A replacement for Orochimaru.

On the subject of Tayuya and the others, Kuja gave him a serious look.

"The Sound Five were willed to me," he said, forcing his voice almost back to normal. "Providing he didn't alter his will without informing me, that should remain the same."

Tayuya was probably Kadaj's best friend, barring that loud-mouthed Arrancar he liked so much. If he allowed her to die, Kadaj's faith in him would dwindle sharply. If he kept her and left the rest to the mercy of the Clan's rules, she would never trust him. He would, despite what he now knew about Orochimaru, honour what he had agreed to back then.

"I am perfectly sure they will be unreasonably irritated to discover that fact," he allowed amusement to seep into his tone. "Still, their displeasure is something they will have to live with. An uncomfortable period of adjustment is considerably better than the alternative -- even they would have to admit that ... however grudgingly."

[joinmyreunion]

So they were already willed to Kuja. That made Kadaj feel significantly better. There probably hadn't been any change in Orochimaru's will; he'd died an ally of Kuja's, he'd had no reason to change it.

"Some might struggle more than others," Kadaj said, quietly, thinking of Kimimaro again, but he shook his head, and shook the thought off. "At least they're landing on their feet if they get you," he said, with a faint smile. "I'd take them, if they weren't willed to anyone, but I don't think they're going to be my number one fans right now."

He sighed gently, feeling better to know that Tayuya would be all right, even if he wasn't here to argue for her.

[immoralmelody]

A difficult transition period was the best that the Sound Five could hope for. If Kuja had not stepped up and accepted Orochimaru's desire to will them to him in the event of his death, they would, in all likelihood, be put down -- that is to say, executed. Khamja was a delicate operation and, without a master, minions had only three choices if their boss was killed in action. They could be taken on by somebody else; they could, rarely, be elevated to Member status or they could be disposed of. Khamja had too many secrets, including the identities of the non-public members, for underlings to be released back into society. It had its perks, but it was a dangerous game.

They, as the old adage went, knew too much.

That said, Kuja was no bleeding heart. He would allow the Sound Five time to get used to answering to him instead of Orochimaru, that was only fair. They would be permitted to grieve, given time to adjust and would be allowed the same scant freedoms that he had given them. Tayuya, for instance, would not be prevented from fraternising with Aizen's half-Hollows, nor would she be forced to step away from Clan Skite. He would not, however, accept unfortunate behaviour once everything was settled. He had not agreed to save their lives so that he could be walked all over.

If they pushed him, there would be consequences. They could count on that.

"You are probably right," Kuja said, not doubting that for a second. "Do you intend to stay out of their way?"

He rather hoped so. Kadaj had taken out Orochimaru when it came to it, but he'd had help and the Sound Five all had dangerous abilities at their disposal. Kadaj had won a difficult battle and bested a powerful opponent, but he would struggle to win the war should it come to him all at once.

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Kadaj nodded, answering, simply, "Yeah." The Sound Five were going to be angry with him; sticking around wouldn't be wise, especially if someone like Kimimaro decided he had nothing left to lose. Tayuya would be pissed, and feeling betrayed. Kidomaru and the twins....

Kadaj was really not going to be their favourite person in the world.

"I need to get out of here for a while anyway," he admitted. "Too many ghosts," he said, softly, "I need to clear my head." Too many bad memories and upcoming arguments. Kadaj wanted to deal with them one at a time, in his own time, and he wouldn't be able to do that here because it would all crash down on him in wave after wave if he stayed.

He frowned, thinking of that. "I should leave now," he said, with a trace of a sigh. "They'll have noticed Orochimaru's gone; it won't be long before someone comes looking for me." Tayuya. Tayuya would be the one, and she was the one Kadaj least wanted to confront.

"Thank you," he said, looking Kuja in the eyes, "for hearing me out."

[immoralmelody]

"Of course," Kuja said, answering all of his statements and his gratitude with those two words.

Gone were the days when the doors of the Desert Palace were closed to Kadaj. He was no longer a prisoner. He could come and go as he pleased, like the rest of them. Now was a good time for him to start exercising that privilege. His running around with Skite had given him ample opportunity to stretch his wings. Now was the time for him to use them.

"I will go and see Illua," he said quietly, returning his gaze. "I have no doubt that she will want to discuss with me the extent of Orochimaru's will."

So, he was to have underlings again. He had only ever had Kadaj before. He used and manipulated people on the outside easily enough, but it wasn't quite the same. He had new responsibilities. The Sound Five would not be the only ones who would have to grow accustomed to a new situation. He had not accounted for this so soon, but he could easily improvise.

"Go on," he gave his sides a gentle squeeze. "Try not to get into too much trouble?"

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Kadaj smiled softly and leaned in again to give Kuja a lingering hug. He wasn't sure when he'd be coming back, but it wouldn't be any time soon, if Kadaj had his way.

"I won't get into trouble I can't get out of," he said, with a trace of humour. Even running around with Skite hadn't been trouble free, but Kadaj didn't plan on courting it while he was away.

He let go, pulling back from Kuja, and stepped away to retrieve Kusanagi from its resting place.

He smiled at Kuja again, telling him, "I'll be back for the next act," as he headed for the door.

[immoralmelody]

Kuja returned Kadaj's hug. He laid his chin on the boy's shoulder and closed his eyes, wrapping his arms around him once again. When he pulled back, Kuja let go without hesitation.

"See that you are," Kuja said, allowing a smile to touch his eyes as well as his lips.